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Monthly Archives: September 2021

Why Can’t I Stay Sober

A message from our founder

Couples in recovery

I know how difficult it is. I’m a recovering addict of 20 years. At one point, I lost everything I had ever worked for. After my brother died in his addiction after “graduating” a clinical program, I knew something was seriously wrong with the treatment industry. After all, my brother was smart, successful in business, and very motivated to get clean & sober… Listen to me very carefully,

‘It’s not your fault’!

But, you do have some responsibility…

Addicts struggle to stay sober because they aren’t led on a path of complete transformation. Clinical programs are geared to satisfy insurance requirements. They are NOT set-up to re-build a human-being from the inside-out.

Addicts aren’t completely off the hook, however. The biggest mistake Addicts make is believing they can “get better” in a very short period of time. That, my friend, is ridiculous!

It has taken several years to develop into a full-blown, walking disaster, and, the Addict must be willing to stop moving, slow down, and get serious about changing/improving every single area of life that is driving the chaos, in the first place.

Recovery from drugs is not rocket science. So many people struggle to stay clean after multiple rehabs attempts, thinking; “maybe this time it will work”. That’s wrong thinking and a recipe for yet another failure. It’s not possible to develop an entirely new way of living & thinking in 30 short days. It’s unrealistic to think that a person who’s been using for 10 or 20 years is going to be ALL better after 30 days of rehab… Seriously?

I often hear people say “well, I only want to go to rehab for 60 days, but then I need to move on with, whatever… Sounds like they’re planning a wedding, or something. What exactly will happen on day 60 that is different from day 1?

Addicts who truly are able to make a new life for themselves, long-term, with no more relapses, are the ones who understand they are dealing with an addiction that will kill them. They are willing to sacrifice whatever is necessary to get better, which generally means ‘time’. And, a lot of new information, time to process that new information, space to fail along the way, and, encouragement to get back on the bike and keep peddling.

Unless the Addict is willing to put themselves into a long-term situation to be surrounded by the solution, every day, and not stop until complete transformation has been solidified, you won’t make it.

I’m sorry if that sounds rough but I’m telling you how to achieve lasting recovery. What I’ve described is precisely why many addicts simply never stay sober. They hold on to this pipe dream of instant results and continue to fail until they die.

Time to get honest with yourself

Stop acting like you’re too busy to take months out of your life to focus on recovery. If you had cancer you wouldn’t even question the amount of time to recover. The only thing Addicts are busy with is causing chaos & destruction. Relax, I used to say the same things. But one day, it finally hit me just how much I was hurting my family, my own children.

I walked around like I had it all together, but, in reality, I existed solely because my family never gave up on me and always made sure I had a roof over my head, a car to drive, food, cell phone, and whatever else I thought I had to have to be a big-shot!

That’s not living, that’s bumming!

Time to bite the bullet and ask for help! However, there’s a big difference between asking for help and asking for relief;

RELIEF: “Hey mom, dad, I got this problem and if you could just give me the money I’m going to solve it my way, all good!” (failure follows pretty quickly)

HELP: “Hey, I’ve got this problem and I don’t have a clue what to do about it. Whatever advice you give me I’m going to follow it because I recognize my thinking gets me more chaos”. (success always follows the person who is teachable)

Dr. Miles

Call today: 405-248-2124

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